Everyone saw the beauty, no one saw the pain.

You have no idea how much my heart bleeds for you. 

I don't want you living your life like that, so enigmatic. You need to tell people more about you. Your turmoil.

You can't let people treat you like that, thinking you're completely immune to it, when you really aren't; when it's eating you up inside, you and I both know it. 

I love you for who you are, really. I'm your friend, no matter what. I would never treat you the way they do. I don't care what people tell me about you. Unless it comes from you, I don't want to believe it. 

I know you tell me lie after lie, but I believe you. No matter what you say, 

I will believe you. 

---

The little cracks, they escalated,

And before you know, it's too late,

For making circles and telling lies.

-Lies, Glen Hansard

I went from zero to minus ten.

I feel like I've lost you. 

I feel like you've been replaced.

I feel like you're so many miles apart; most of the time you actually are. 

I needed you, but someone else was there for me.

Someone who actually made me feel like I had someone to talk to. 

Fin.

Will you stay strong as you promised? 

Cause I'm stranded and bare..

---

I spent today trying to finish up my homework that I haven't completed with my best friend. 

Lately I've been partying, drowning my emotions in alcohol and other things. I'm such a mess, no one knows. Not even him. He's a good guy; a good friend, but he doesn't notice some things. I like it that way, I like to keep a part of me private. At some point I stopped caring about what people thought of me, I'm so hollow inside. 

I feel so broken.

Mac City.

I've just gotten a new laptop, I love it so much. It's caused me a whole lot of problems, but I think I've dealt with them for now. All I have to do now is get back home and try out the connection there, because so far the wireless connection for my laptop has been just so awful, so there really was nothing I could do but write my essay for literature. 

I'm in Mac City in Cineleisure, one of the girls really reminded me of someone I know. Older replica. My friend just left, so I'm left here with nothing else to do but update my blog listlessly. 

---

I could swear that was a teacher passing by. 

Why?

I couldn't stop. Why couldn't I stop?

It's too late.

Addiction.

Flirt, kiss, sex...
I'm hooked on you; I need a fix.
I can take it, just one more hit.
I'll handle it, quit it;
Just one more time, then that's it.
Just a little bit more to get me through this..

I really can't keep doing this.

I'm contradicting everything I was against; everything I believed in.

I have to stop.


For her.

Just a girl.

I feel like a giddy schoolgirl in love.

..well maybe cause I am one.
Love, maybe not, but well, something similar or close to that.

Something so different.

I'm so glad I found you. Well, you found me, but it's the same thing.
I've never felt so.. Complete. Like nothing could make me happier than spending time with you, watching lame shows together and me cuddling up against you, crying, when one of my favourite characters die.
(Don't laugh, one would grow attached to the characters!!)

I love every second I spend with you, even when you're complaining about how you hate your school uniform.
I think it's cute.

My feelings for you, right now, are as strong as it can ever get.

---

School today was excruciatingly boring.
I skipped History and hung out with my class teacher, she's super cool. Involved in a lot of school things.

I'm going ice skating again this Saturday, would you care to join me, internet?